The Dangers of Soap

by Nelson






Nelson entered the kitchen from the garage, and found Zach, whipping something up for dinner. The smell of Italian spices filled the air, as whatever Zach was cooking baked in the oven. The fragrant dinner did nothing to cut the black aura that was rolling off Zach in palpable waves, nor was it staunched by Zach's activities to prep a salad to go along with the entree.

"Something smells good," Nelson said. He neared Zach cautiously, as he aggressively plunged a knife into the head of lettuce he was working on.

"Thanks."

Nelson wrapped his arms around his frigid partner, and kissed the side of his head. "No real kiss for me tonight?" Zach huffed softly, ignoring the lettuce long enough to plant a cold kiss on Nelson's lips. "Did you have a bad day?"

"What would make you think that?" Zach said shortly.

"You just seem miffed."

"Well, that shows how much you know. I'm fine."

Nelson's eyebrows rose, as he turned Zach to face him. "Want to try that again?"

"What?" Zach asked before his lips pursed in a tight line.

"Something's wrong, and you might as well spill it before you say something you'll regret."

"Oh, like last night?"

Nelson leaned against the kitchen table and folded his arms. "Yes. Exactly like last night."

That had been a bad one. One he thought wouldn't end without Zach across his lap, but thankfully, the soap and corner had worked their magic. Zach had been practicing the art of speaking without thinking, and almost went too far.

Nelson watched his partner's expression as a world of thoughts played through his mind. His mouth opened in shocked silence, then switched in nanoseconds to anger as a frown replaced the surprise.

"You have something to say?" Nelson asked.

"Like what?" Zach spat tersely.

"Like why you're in a snit because I came home."

Zach folded his arms in a mirror image of his partner. "Did you happen to see the news?"

Nelson played back the few current events that he had been informed of earlier in the day, nothing standing out as major news that he could recall. "I watched it before I left for work. Why?"

"Nothing particularly interesting for a doctor to be aware of? A doctor in a particular role in our relationship?"

Nelson frowned in confusion, his brows dipping down as he thought harder. "No, Zach. Did the media get wind of your punishment last night or something?"

Zach's mouth fell open in surprise, as his hands balled into fists at his side. "This is not funny!"

"What in the world...?"

"You really don't know, do you?"

"Should I?"

"I would *think* you'd be aware of the dangers..."

Nelson held his hands up innocently. "Of *what*?!"

"Soap! That's what!"

Nelson sighed heavily. So he was wound up about the night before. Maybe there wasn't any magic left in the corner - or soap - like he had thought. "You're still ticked about last night. If I left things unfinished, I'll be more than happy to set that right tonight."

"Oh, sure. Act like what you did wasn't enough."

Nelson pulled out a kitchen chair and pointed a finger at it. "Sit."

"I'm not a dog..." Zach argued.

"Sit!" Nelson repeated.

Zach flounced angrily in the chair, crossing his arms for effect. "Happy?"

"Oh, I'm a long ways from happy right now. Explain yourself."

"It was all over the news. You should know."

"Well, I *don't* know. What has you so wound up?"

"I need the computer."

Nelson stared at his partner in disbelief. "For *what*?"

"So I can show you. Am I allowed to move from the chair?" Zach asked, his voice tinged in sarcasm.

"If you're brave enough to uncover your butt, you can get up," Nelson warned.

Zach's demeanor changed tangibly, and he asked in a nicer tone. "Nelson, I'd rather show you. Can I please go to the computer?"

Nelson paused before answering, not sure if whatever was on the computer would things better or worse. "Go on."

Nelson watched his angry partner exit the kitchen, and he blew out a breath. What the hell had gotten him so worked up? Nelson thought through the events of the previous night, searching for something that went more wrong than he had imagined. He and Zach had gotten into it over who was supposed to return the movie rentals, Zach swearing it was Nelson, and Nelson remembering it differently. They could have left well enough alone, but Zach turned it into something else entirely, feeling like he was being taken advantage of since he was the one at home more than Nelson. Instead of talking through it, Zach sharpened his tongue, and went to work on Nelson until Nelson had had enough. Was he still feeling disrespected? Did he honestly think Nelson took him for granted?

Nelson looked toward the stove. Zach worked hard at home, shouldering a lot of what they would normally share, and running his new photography studio on top of it. Nelson appreciated all that he did, and had thought before last night that he made that clear.

"Obviously, not clear enough," he berated himself. He vowed to do a better job of showing Zach his appreciation, and to do something special for him. That didn't mean taking another tongue lashing, though.

Zach marched back into the kitchen with something he had printed from the computer. "Here," he said, shoving the piece of paper at Nelson.

Nelson took the printout, and looked at Zach cautiously, not sure he wanted to know the ghastly details that had left his partner spitting mad.

Pair Charged With Making Girl Eat Soap
(Oct. 12) -- A Florida woman and her boyfriend face child abuse charges after they allegedly forced her 8-year-old daughter to eat soap as punishment for saying a naughty word.

The girl suffered an allergic reaction after being forced to chew on the soap for 10 minutes, Florida Today reported, citing Palm Bay police.

Nelson looked up from the paper indifferently at his partner. "You're kidding me, right?"

"No, I am *not* kidding you! I could have been killed!"

"Many times," Nelson added, trying to bite back a smile.

Zach crossed his arms. "Nelson. This is nothing to joke about. That girl could have died. Her parents were arrested!"

"Are you planning to turn me in to the authorities?"

"Would you please take this seriously?"

Nelson tossed the article on the table and slouched back in his chair. "How do you expect me to take this seriously? We've been together long enough for you to have had a reaction to soap if it were going to happen."

Zach snatched the paper off the table. "It says right here that her throat swelled up. She had to go to the hospital!"

"It also says that they made her chew on the soap for 10 minutes, and that they made her eat it. Neither of which, I've ever made you do, nor would I."

"Fine. You don't want to take it seriously, then I'm taking it seriously," Zach said with authority. "No more soap. None. Nada."

Nelson shrugged, and stood up, filling Zach's personal space. "If that's what you want," he replied calmly.

Zach blinked, taken aback by the ease in which Nelson recanted. "What?"

"I used the soap to keep from having to spank you last night. I guess next time, I'll just go straight to that since we can't use soap anymore."

"What?! That's not what I meant!"

"No, you sounded pretty sure to me. So, if that's what you want..." Nelson turned to leave, heading toward the door.

"Wait a second!" Zach protested, as he rushed to catch up with Nelson.

"No, no," Nelson waved him off. "You were quite clear. Who am I to argue with you when you feel so strongly?" Nelson said as he continued to walk away.

Zach grabbed the back of his dress shirt, halting Nelson before he could mount the stairs. Nelson turned to face him, and Zach reported, "You're evil."

"And you're dramatic," he replied, not unkindly. "But I love you anyway."

Zach's shoulders sagged in defeat. "I don't want to die of a swollen throat."

"Watch your mouth, and we won't need soap *or* spanking."

Zach rolled his eyes. "Like that's going to happen."

Nelson chuckled, and pulled Zach in for a hug. "Do you honestly think I'd ever do anything to harm you?"

"Well..."

"Be honest. Punishment might hurt sometimes, but it shouldn't harm."

"I guess."

"So am I throwing out the soap?" Nelson held Zach at arm's length.

Zach studied the carpet as he thought it through. "I guess if my throat swells, you'll know what to do."

"I do."

"And it beats your alternative methods..."

Nelson laughed and shook his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something. You seem to have a plethora of ideas in that evil head of yours."

Nelson linked his fingers in Zach's and pulled him close for a proper kiss. "Sometimes evil can be good," he said with his lips against Zach's.

Zach smiled. "Hmm. An evening with Dr. Evil. I guess I've had worse nights."

End