Use the Force
by Nelson
"Hurry *up*," Ben complained, gazing out the car window.
"They'll be here," Vic said. "We have half an hour before the movie starts and there aren't many people here yet, judging by the parking lot."
The sun was bearing down on them through the front glass and Ben reached over from the passenger's seat to twist the key in the ignition. He turned the vents directly on him and he closed his eyes letting the cool air wash over him. "They need to hurry up," he griped again.
Vic switched the key off and pulled it from the ignition. "They're here."
"'Bout time," Ben said. He swung his door open and hit the pavement, heading directly for the building. "Can we even get in?"
"Yep. I saw some people go in," Vic said, grabbing Ben's wrist in time to keep him from getting away. "Morning, Nelson. Zach."
"May the force be with you," Zach said, a wide grin plastering his face.
"Always," Ben finished. He and Zach fell in step together, reminiscing over past Star Wars episodes, and gearing up for the latest and final chapter in the saga.
Nelson shook his head, grinning at the two. "All I've heard for months is 'Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars'."
"Tell me about it. Worse this week with it opening," Vic agreed. Other people had gathered inside waiting anxiously for the gates to be unlocked so they could buy their tickets.
"There have got to be at least 30 people here already," Ben said.
Vic looked around at the people waiting and realized Ben was right; there were at least 30 people there, if not more. "And on a Sunday morning, too. Good thing we came early," Vic said.
"Can you even imagine what it was like Friday night?" Nelson wondered.
"We should have come Wednesday night like I wanted to," Zach said. "Like *real* fans did." Nelson rolled his eyes over to Zach who teetered up on his toes to be more in line with Nelson's height. "Well, we should have," he insisted.
"I don't regret my choice of sleep over Star Wars, Zach."
"You say that now. After you see it today, you'll wish we had come to the midnight showing."
"Somehow, I'm thinking being up until 3 AM wouldn't have been the wisest choice," Nelson said.
A man appeared from the dimly lit ticket area wearing a tie and a shirt with a Century Theater logo on it and began to move the gates blocking way.
"Finally!" Ben exclaimed. "It's about time."
The man painstakingly folded each of the five wheeled gates accordion-style, then rolled them out of the way, one at a time, against the wall.
"Could he *move* any slower?" Zach grumbled under his breath. Meanwhile, a young lady casually ran a carpet sweeper in long, lazy sweeps over the rug in front of the ticket counter. Her short hair was pulled back severely in two mini-ponytails that stuck out on either side of her head behind her ears. "Crap, I thought she was coming to sell us tickets."
"Doesn't look like it," Nelson said. "I'm surprised they don't have ticket kiosks, being a new place and all."
Vic noted the pungent odor of popcorn and he could see beyond the ticket area to the food counter as the man rolled another chunk of the gate out of the way. "Popcorn," he said with his nose wrinkled. "For breakfast?"
"They sell coffee, too," Ben pointed out. "You get that, and I'll have popcorn."
"You'll need a Rolaid before the movie is over."
"You'll eat it, too. I know you will."
"It's time!" Zach exclaimed, heading for the registers. The crowd parted into two distinct groups: one with printed 8 ½ x 11 sheets of paper in their hands, and the other empty-handed. Zach frowned at those with paper already filing though the entryway and said, "I told you we should have bought our tickets online."
Nelson sighed and pushed Zach forward into line. "We'll see the movie, Zach. Quit fussing."
"God! Are they trying to punish us or something?" Ben asked. "Ponytail up there hasn't moved *one* customer yet!"
"Maybe that's why they had her sweeping," Vic said. "She's no good at ticket sales."
"May I help someone over here?" another voice said.
"Finally!" Ben said, rushing to the other open line. "We're next!"
Just as the man in front of them stepped aside with his ticket, Ponytail said from the register beside them, "Can you help me? It's out of paper?"
"No way!" Zach hissed to Nelson as their cashier abandoned her post to help the girl. "Give her the dang sweeper back and get someone else at the ticket counter!"
"Our girl will be back in a sec," he said calmly. "There's still 20 minutes before the movie starts."
In a matter of minutes they were at the snack counter, despite Ponytail's ineptness. The snack counter was mostly serve-yourself. Actually, everything was except the popcorn. "This is a weird set-up," Ben noticed. "Must be the new wave of the future."
Nelson and Zach stepped up to the counter first and ordered one medium popcorn. "Would you like to upgrade that to a large?" the tie-clad man asked. "It's only another dollar, and you get almost twice as much."
Nelson smiled politely. "No thank you," he said. "The medium is fine."
Zach grinned at Ben who was anxiously waiting behind them so he and Vic could order. Zach said, "He has no idea how tight Nelson is."
"Hush, and get some napkins," Nelson chided gently.
They found seats right in the middle of the theater, which was decidedly empty in light of its capacity. Tiring quickly of the movie trivia, Zach tossed a piece of popcorn in his mouth and said to Ben, "So, you think Anakin is a Brat?" Ben stopped chewing long enough to glare disbelievingly at Zach. "Okay," Zach laughed, "so he's a Brat. Do you think if Obi-Wan had applied a little hands-on discipline, he wouldn't have become Darth Vader?"
"Don't know," Ben said. "I'll let you know after the movie."
"What do you think, Nelson?" Zach asked turning to his partner on his right.
"I think I would have turned Anakin over my knee in the last movie when he smarted off about what he was and wasn't going to do. That or soap."
"Big surprise there," Zach said sarcastically.
Vic leaned up to grab a handful of popcorn from between Ben's legs and asked, "What are you talking about down there, Zach?"
"Whether Anakin is a Brat and if he would have been Darth Vader if he had some discipline."
"Oh," Vic replied, raising his eyebrows. "Who would be his Top?" Both Ben and Zach looked speculatively at Vic, who shrugged. "What? You don't think Obi-Wan was a Top, do you?"
"Wasn't he?" Ben asked.
Nelson laughed with a hearty, "Ha!"
Ben and Zach turned to him in perfectly choreographed unison. Zach asked, "You don't think he was a Top either? He sure was bossy enough in the last one."
"Bossy doesn't equal Top," Nelson said, then raised his voice over Zach's response, "*Regardless* of what you might think."
"I agree," Vic said.
"You would," Ben joked.
"I mean with the fact that Obi-Wan wasn't a Top."
"I never thought about it," Zach said. "I just thought Top."
"Look at it this way," Vic said with a glance over his shoulder to be sure no one had sat down near them and could hear their conversation, "do you think he would have become Darth Vader if Quigon had lived?"
"Oh," Ben said. "I see what you mean."
"Good point, Vic," Nelson said. "I think he would have had his hands full with both Obi-Wan and Anakin if he had lived."
"Okay, so we've established that both Obi-Wan and Anakin are Brats, right?" Zach asked his three companions who nodded agreement. "Quigon is dead, so who could handle those two?"
"Oh, God," Vic said. "I feel for him, whoever he is."
"You can say that again," Nelson said, taking a sip of his and Zach's tub of Diet Coke.
"Would he have to be a Jedi?" Ben asked.
"I think he'd almost have to be," Vic said. "That or some sort of demi-god."
"Who could play him? I don't think I could see anyone from the last movie being the right Top," Ben said.
"Not Yoda. No lap," Zach said erupting in laughter. "But come to think of it, that might not be a bad thing."
"Oh, no," Nelson said. "With those two, it would have to be someone with a lap. Definitely."
"He should be 40-ish," Ben said. "Not too old, not too young."
"I know, Kurt Russell. He's hot," Zach said.
"I don't know," Nelson said. "What about Val Kilmer?"
"Kurt got you thinking of Tombstone, didn't he?" Zach said with a grin. "We like to watch that movie and drool," he explained to Ben and Vic.
"'I'm your huckleberry'," Ben quoted, wiping his greasy fingertips on a napkin in his lap. "I think I could see Val as their Top. Especially if you think of him in Batman."
"He was hot in Batman," Zach said. "Very Toppish with Boy Wonder. Remember when Dick said something like, 'who's going to stop me'? Val stood up all big - you know how Tops do - and said…"
"*I'll* stop you," Ben said with a laugh. "Extremely Toppish."
"Maybe their Top would be an alien," Vic suggested. "Maybe someone like Jabba or something."
"Eww!" Ben said. "That's just gross, Vic."
"SHHHHHH!" Zach hissed as the lights dimmed. "Time!"
The THX rippled through the theater, reverberating through the room and the screen lit up with a single sentence:
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
There were a Top and two Brats…
The End
