A Matter of Religion?

September 2003
By Nelson

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned; apparently,” Joey muttered defiantly from the kitchen table.

Doug’s face melted into a frown and he responded, “Excuse me?”

“Well, I just don’t see what the big deal is, but obviously you do,” Joey said angrily.

Doug straightened up in his chair and asked in his usual calm voice, “Since when does your disobedience constitute a small thing?”

Joey huffed and rolled his eyes. “I’m 28 years old! I should be able to have more than TWO goddamn beers if I want to.”

“Don’t curse at me, Joey. I don’t talk to you that way and I’d appreciate it if you showed me the same respect.”

Joey’s eyes dropped slightly and he said, “I’m sorry. You just don’t need to get so worked up over it.”

Doug watched Joey’s eyes fix on the centerpiece in the middle of the table rather than looking at him. “Why wouldn’t I be worked up over it? You know it’s dangerous for your health.”

Joey’s exasperated face turned sharply to his lover. “ONE night of drinking isn’t going to kill me!”

“Won’t it?”

“NO, it won’t. GOD!” Doug leveled his eyes at his lover and didn’t speak for a second or two. Joey looked over at him, curious at the silence. “What?”

Doug answered, “I don’t know why you keep bringing God into this but…”

“What are you talking about?” Joey interrupted.

“Your ‘Father, forgive me’ reference, your choice of curse words…”

Joey just shook his head. “It wasn’t intentional, I can assure you. It just came out.”

“Nonetheless, since you brought Him up, He DID choose to only give you one fully developed and functioning kidney. You know that.”

“Of course, I know it!”

“Then, I’d like you tell me why I’m getting ‘so worked up’ about the fact that you drank way too much last night,” Doug stated calmly.

Joey shoved his chair back roughly from the table as he jumped to his feet in front of Doug and started unbuckling his belt. “You’re not going to be happy until you spank me, so why don’t we just get to it and move on?” he asked while his fingers worked at his fly.

Doug’s hands covered Joey’s and stilled them as he stood to his feet. “Stop it and sit down.”

“Why? We both know that’s where this is going.”

Doug’s voice rose slightly and took on a stern tone. “I SAID to have a seat, Joseph Allen.”

Joey stared at Doug, surprised by the use of his full name. He rarely did it and when he did, it was serious. He blinked at his partner trying to judge the magnitude of the situation. Without further argument, he zipped his pants and refastened his belt. Both men reclaimed their former positions at the table and the discussion continued.

“What is our rule about drinking where you’re concerned?” Doug asked after Joey slumped against the chair.

“No more than two and only on occasion, but I haven’t done it in a long time…” Joey said as he glared at the table.

“That isn’t the issue. You’re not to do it at all in excess.” Doug paused letting his words register.

Joey turned pleading eyes to Doug. “But, you don’t understand. I was out with my co-workers. What was I supposed to say? ‘My boyfriend says I can only have two beers’?”

“You tell them the truth. You limit your drinking because of a health condition. That’s all.”

Joey shook his head unbelievingly and glanced upward. “It’s not that easy. They ALL drink.”

“They all don’t have only one kidney, I’m sure.”

Joey continued to argue, “I don’t go out with them that much. It’s hard when we’re out of town because there’s nothing else to do. We just went to the bar to watch the game and it got out of control.”

“Joey, you were there a lot longer than the game lasted. You called me at 2:00 in the morning, in case you can’t remember.”

“I remember,” he mumbled miserably. He could remember, but he wasn’t thinking too clearly the night before and didn’t realize just how late it was when he called Doug. Even that late at night, and through the phone lines, Doug was easily able to recognize that his partner was inebriated.

“How many did you actually have?” Doug asked.

Joey cringed inside at the question. He had no idea, but knew it was far more than two. “I’m not sure,” he answered honestly. His eyes found Doug’s to gauge his reaction and saw his lips purse into a frown.

“Try to remember.”

“I just don’t know. We were there a long time…”

“Do I need to wait for the statement on your corporate card to figure it out?” Doug asked. Joey’s eyes grew a little larger at the question.

“No, no. I know it was more than two.”

“How many more than two?” Doug pressed.

Joey looked away and focused his eyes across the kitchen before he spoke. “We were doing pitchers.”

“God Almighty, Joey. Pitchers?” Doug asked in frustration. “What were you thinking?”

“Of having a good time!” Joey said in his defense.

Doug placed both his elbows on the table and leaned forward toward his lover. “YOU,” he said with emphasis, “need to understand why this rule is in place and why it is important. That much is obvious to me.”

Joey sighed deeply and looked away from his lover. “Doug, can we please just talk about this tomorrow?” he said wearily. “My head is splitting and I’d just like to get some sleep.”

“It’s called a hangover,” Doug said before rising from his chair. He walked to the other side of the kitchen and pulled a bottle from the cabinet. “You can have Advil, but we aren’t done yet.” He sat the bottle of Advil on the table in front of Joey, but he absently slipped it away from him.

“Now, let’s try this again,” Doug began as he sat back down. “Why do we have a rule about limiting your drinking?”

“Because I’m deformed with one kidney,” Joey said bitterly.

“You’re half right. You have one kidney, but that doesn’t make you deformed and you know it.”

“I might as well be! I hate it, Doug! I just want to have a good time like everyone else,” Joey said miserably. “I don’t want to tell people I have a health problem.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Doug said. “But, you don’t owe anyone an explanation if you choose not to drink. Let them think what they want when you order non-alcoholic drinks. They might just think it’s against your religion.”

Joey’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile. “I doubt that,” he said. “Not if they know me at all.”

“The point is, it doesn’t matter what they think. What matters is your well-being. What does it mean to your health that you have only one kidney, Joey?”

Joey’s frustration was slipping away as he resigned himself to see the discussion through. “I have to be more careful.”

“You have to be more careful,” Doug repeated in confirmation. “That one kidney already does the work of two. It doesn’t need any further intentional abuse from you.”

Joey folded his arms, hugging himself tightly against Doug’s words. His chin tucked down and he tried to keep his eyes off Doug. The body language alone told Doug that his lover was beginning to see the point. He reached over and took Joey’s chin in his hand, gently brushing the rough surface where the stubble was trying to reappear as it always did by the end of the day. He raised Joey’s face and saw that his eyes were glistening slightly.

“I don’t want to see you sick or on dialysis one day. Do you understand me?”

“Yes.”

“If you were to push yourself into being sick, how do you think I would feel?”

“I wasn’t thinking about it like that,” Joey said, his mouth tipping down. “I was just having a good time.”

“I’m glad you had a good time. That’s not the issue. WE are the issue. You have a responsibility both to me and yourself to take care of your body. How would you like it if I took unnecessary risks?”

“You’d never…,” Joey started then caught himself. No, Doug would never do that and it finally hit him - it wasn’t fair to his partner for him to put his own health at risk. “I’m…I’m sorry. I just didn’t think it would hurt anything.”

Doug released his chin but continued to maintain eye contact. “And, people who smoke never think they’ll get cancer, do they?”

Joey shook his head, “No. I guess not.”

“I guess not,” Doug agreed.

Joey was looking at him but his eyes dropped again before he spoke. He sensed the end of the conversation was near and asked, “Are you going to spank me now?”

“Joey, look at me,” Doug said and looked into the weary eyes that rose to meet his own. He read the eyes before speaking, then said, “I think we should deal with that tomorrow when you feel better. You’ve been traveling all day and you’re still fighting the effects of last night.”

Joey started shaking his head. “I know I said I didn’t want to talk about this tonight, but I don’t want to wait if you’re going to spank me. I’d rather get it over with. I’ll just worry about it until we do.” Doug looked at his partner with concern on his face. Joey saw the look and said, “Really, Doug. I don’t want it hanging over me all night.”

Joey’s words were convincing but the moisture continued to accumulate in his eyes until Doug was sure the tears would spill over. “Okay, sweetheart. We’ll do it tonight,” Doug said relenting. “Go bring me the paddle.”

In spite of Joey’s bravado and willingness to succumb to his penance, his stomach turned at Doug’s words. Between the effects of the alcohol on his stomach and the sudden onset of nerves, he felt like he could throw up. He gathered his strength and walked as if in slow motion toward the bedroom where the paddle was kept.

Doug listened to his lover’s retreating footsteps then moved a chair away from the table while he waited for him to return, and took a seat. He sighed heavily with what he had to do, but knew he didn’t want a repeat episode. He heard Joey’s feet padding against the carpet in the hallway just before he appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. Joey hesitated there, looking at his waiting partner.

“Come on,” Doug said to him with a hand held out for the paddle. “Let’s get this done.”

Joey willed his feet to move and he walked over to where Doug waited, placing the paddle in his outstretched hand. Doug took his arm, pulling him around beside him and said, “Pants down for me, please.”

He saw Joey swallow hard and his Adam’s apple bounce slightly as the tears started to silently fall. Joey’s hands went back to his belt for the second time that evening, but this time, they moved slower over the buckle. He finished unfastening the front of his pants and slipped them and his boxers down to his knees. Doug reached out as soon as the pants were out of the way and quickly pulled Joey across his lap so they could get the punishment behind them.

Joey was tense as he waited for the first swat to fall and he wiggled in a futile attempt to get comfortable. He balanced himself with his fingertips on the cool kitchen floor and felt Doug further secure him with an arm around his waist. As soon as Doug had him anchored tightly, he began to bring the paddle down repeatedly against Joey’s bottom, waiting two to three seconds between each stroke. He wanted each swat to make its own equally strong impression.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God…” Joey said quickly in one long breath as the heat in his backside built. His prayers went unheeded and Doug continued to paddle him until he heard tears of contrition. When Joey thought he couldn’t bear another lick, the paddle miraculously stopped falling.

Doug laid the paddle on the kitchen table behind him and gently ran his hand over his weeping lover’s back. He waited until the tears began to subside then helped Joey to stand. Doug pulled him in close and held him tight while he continued to cry against his shoulder. “I’ve got you,” Doug said to him over the tears. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Let it out.” Doug continued to console and support his lover as he clung to Doug’s waist.

Doug pushed him away just long enough to untangle his dress slacks and underwear from around his feet, slipping his shoes and socks off as he did so. He folded the pants neatly across his arm then slipped his other arm around Joey. “Come on. Let’s get you into bed.” Joey pressed his fingertips to his eyes roughly and wiped at the tears as he nodded his agreement.

Doug led him down the hallway and flipped on the light in their room. He walked Joey over to his side of the bed and pulled his polo shirt over his head. Still holding Joey with one hand, Doug used the other to pull back the covers holding the sheets apart. Doug said, “Okay, sweetheart. Get in.” Joey used his knees to climb in bed and settle on his stomach while Doug switched on the bedside lamp.

Joey rose up on his elbows when he saw Doug leaving the side of the bed, “Wait! Don’t go,” he said through his tears.

“I’ll be right back. I want to turn off this overhead light and I need to get you something for your headache.”

Joey slumped against his pillow and jammed his fists underneath. Doug switched off the overhead light as he left the bedroom and hurried back as quickly as he could. He returned to Joey’s side of the bed and sat on the edge. “Can you sit up enough to take these?”

Joey glanced over and saw Doug was holding a glass of water and two Advil. He nodded his answer and lifted back up on one elbow using his free hand to toss the pills to the back of his throat before washing them down. Doug sat the glass on the table beside the bed and ran his hands tenderly down Joey’s back listening to him sniffle.

He stood up and Joey said urgently, “Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to get ready for bed. I’ll come to bed with you.”

Joey glanced at the clock and saw it was only 8:30. “Are you sure?”

“Very sure,” Doug said. He never failed to stay close to Joey after he had been punished, knowing he needed the closeness at that point more than ever. It was just something he had learned his partner needed and he never kept that from him.

Moments later, Doug had stripped to his boxers and he slid between the sheets alongside Joey. He pulled him close and kissed the back of his head. “You know how much I love you, right?”

Joey sniffed and said, “Yeah.”

“I love you too much to stand by and let you hurt yourself; you know that?”

“I know.”

Depending on how Joey felt after a spanking, it sometimes took him awhile to return the sentiments Doug showered on him. After a few minutes of Doug stroking and petting the body beside him, he heard Joey whisper in the dark, “I love you, Doug. I’m sorry about last night.”

“It’s okay. I love you, too.”

“But, I really am sorry; not just because I got in trouble, either.”

“I know. Let’s put it behind us, okay? I’m not upset and I know you’re sorry. You’re forgiven, all right?”

“Okay.” Joey took a deep hitching breath and exhaled heavily. “Doug?”

“What?”

“Do you really think I should tell people drinking is against my religion?” Joey asked with his eyes closed. His tense muscles were finally starting to relax with the attention Doug was giving them combined with the Ibuprofen.

“I wouldn’t tell them anything. It’s no one’s business whether you drink or not.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Besides, I was raised Methodist but I don’t even know if we believe in drinking or not.”

“Where’d that ‘Father forgive me’ comment come from if you were raised Methodist?”

Joey snorted a short laugh in the darkness, “I don’t know. That wasn’t very nice, was it?”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“I’m not sure where it came from. Maybe I heard it on television. Or, saw it on the internet…”

The end.